Sometimes all it takes to settle an issue is giving people space and time to build relationship. Over 18 years of performing workplace mediations, I have “observed” the occasional manager and employee, who respectfully and thoughtfully work through issues with minimal assistance from me, their mediator. In awe, I ask them how did their situation rise to the level of needing a contracted mediator. The parties’ responses usually focus around the workplace culture. Explanations include: workplace stress heightens emotions and affects clear thinking; the workplace focus is on performance outcomes with too little time to communicate; the inability to communicate at the time of the incident allows for escalation: and increased posturing as time lapses. During these rather “simple” mediations, parties seem to genuinely value each other’s skills and contributions to the organization beyond the typical employee. I leave thinking that this manager and employee truly contribute to “human capital” (the collective value of the organization’s intellectual assets as competencies, knowledge and skills). So, why did they need mediation? Beyond their competencies and skills, they needed space and time to treat each other as a human. Conflict is not so much about the issues but about how people in conflict treat each other. It is about relationships. Is mediation the cost of humanness? $500-$800 for a mediation? Or would businesses be better off to allow space and time for developing relationships?
